Birdman goes down in flames

Birdman. He would be my nemesis if we were equals. But we're not. Comparable to the rivalry between Middlebury and Amherst college. One-sided. He's my coworker. I work and he exists in the same space near me. But yesterday I got to tell him what a shit worker he is. He deserved it. He really did. To summarize: I assigned 3 writing tasks to him while I was away on vacation. We confirmed what I wanted in person, in a meeting, and I sent an e-mail to confirm. When I returned from my trip I check his work and see he only wrote 1 of the tasks assigned to him. Instead of the other two he decided to write something completely different. Something that someone else wrote. I confront him, ask him icilly but politely why he chose to take an independent attitude to work. And he merely replied, deadpan, "I guess I just didn't check the e-mail." Sigh.

But I was able to tell him how embarassingly terrible he is. He agreed. I felt good about it and now whenever I see him I feel a little smile inside. Sometimes it bursts out, too.

I'm not a bitch. Burn, birdman, burn.